Walking on Eggshells

You might be familiar with a hit song from Annie Lennox. It came out in 1992.

The younger crowd will consider that a deep cut. Here’s the lyrics*.

You were the sweetest thing that I ever knew

But I don’t care for sugar honey if I can’t have you

Since you abandoned me

My whole life has crashed

Won’t you pick the pieces up

‘Cause it feels just like I’m walking on eggshells

Walking on walking on eggshells

Walking on walking on eggshells

The sun’s still shining in the big blue sky

But it don’t mean nothing to me

Oh let the rain come down

Let the wind blow through me

I’m living in an empty room

With all the windows smashed

And I’ve got so little left to lose

That it feels just like I’m walking on eggshells

Walking on walking on eggshells

And If you’re trying to cut me down

You know that I might bleed

‘Cause if you’re trying to cut me down

I know that you’ll succeed

And if you want to hurt me

There’s nothing left to fear

‘Cause if you want to hurt me

You’re doing really well my dear

Now everyone of us was made to suffer

Everyone of us was made to weep

But we’ve been hurting one another

And now the pain has cut too deep…

So take me from the wreckage

Save me from the blast

Lift me up and take me back

Don’t let me keep on walking…

I can’t keep on walking

I can’t keep on walking on eggshells

For the astute, or people that had a pulse in the 90’s, you’ll notice I took one key liberty. She sings about walking on broken glass. That’s the catchy line most people remember. I have no intention of remaking this song.

*I inserted eggshells over broken glass and made no other changes. The song is talking about a person being hurt in a relationship. The romantic abandonment is part and parcel of the condition on which we focus here.

I made only one change after reviewing the lyrics because I recognized the easy alignment and application of the original lyrics. In truth, we could leave broken glass in place and still use the song as proper instruction for our purposes.

Think of your relationship as your read the lyrics. Does it fit?

The relationship in the song started out sweet. Her man won her over with that sweetness. She quickly transitions to a life where she’s been left alone, but that feeling can remain even in an apparently solid marriage. Her partner could have emotionally or psychologically left her after metaphorically wrecking the house.

In the third verse she asks whether he is trying to hurt her and she knows he can. Yet, clearly, she doesn’t want him to leave. The insults and emotional injuries generate real pain. Is this something you have experienced in your relationship?

After this verse she takes some of the blame. She is willing to take responsibility for bad behavior to mitigate the pain and get some of that sweetness back that she experienced in the beginning of the relationship. It evidences an unhealthy bond has formed.

I can’t speak to the state of psychological literature in the 90’s. However, this relationship has specific language that defines what is described in this hit song. I’m specifically avoiding that technical language. Speaking from experience, people going through this don’t have a knowledge of the technical definitions. In fact, a relationship like this relies on a target remaining ignorant of unhealthy patterns and behavior.

If you pay attention to the words in this song and it resonates, you’ve come to the right place. Walking on eggshells is an expression full of meaning. This describes a person who must watch her words and carefully consider all her actions to avoid negative responses from another person.

Children feel this way with parents when they say nothing they do is ever right.

A husband who remains silent or spends significant time thinking of how he can craft the perfect way to tell his wife something simple is walking on eggshells.

If every step a person takes risks creating more cracks, the stress builds with time. The stress compounds and builds as the person will inevitably slip and be punished for another perceived mistake or offense.

Healthy relationships don’t force either partner to tiptoe around eggshells.

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